Pull back and look. I am pausing to stop and reflect on the second+ year of our life in Germany, and try this blog as a way to catch up with special people that we don't get to see very often. We are truly settled now into our home In Hannover, a 1905 art nouveau apartment house, and I love the view to the St. Mark's Church across the street from my desk (photo). We have a different life now. We left our Orinda house, yard and neighborhood, two cars, and now live in the city in large flat with one car. We walk for most of our groceries, errands and social life. It was an intense year. Ava grew into a powerful, dramatic, funny three year old that keeps us wide-eyed and laughing, and sometimes exasperated.
I had a heart scare (all is okay) and I unexpectedly flew home to see Mom after her heart surgery (she is terrific now). Both events had silver linings...they increased our intention to live as if we might not have tomorrow. We want to keep that spirit going. We take a deep breath... all is "in ordnung" now. As a change management consultant, I was intimately familiar with the Change Curve, the five stages of change that one passes through when undergoing transition. Somehow, despite how clear it was to everyone else, I underestimated the enormity of the change that we took on when we left the San Francisco Bay Area. The daily sunshine, a dream job, our friends, our glass-walled home, and the culture and attitudes proved to be quite different than this part of the world. The northern German weather, language, social and cultural norms, and becoming a full-time mom after a rich career all required a lot of energy and optimism to pull me through the change curve. I am happy to share that I am now in the "Hopeful Realism" stage and I am enjoying our new lifestyle.
I have finally established the network and infrastructure that is needed to get by in life, so we have doctors, babysitters, contractors, etc. that makes daily living much easier. Good friends, neighbors and a walk-everywhere, "gemutlich" (cozy) cafe culture has helped enormously. Yesterday, Ava and I walked to a beautiful cafe with other mommies and daugthers and had lunch. Another friend called and decided to spontaneously join us, and since we are all nearby it can happen. I treasure the other German ways I have adopted... buying handmade, natural and local, buying food from farmers on every day of the week, natural remedies, and slow, intentional living.One reason we moved here was to discover Europe. 2007 gave us that opportunity. We fell in love with Vienna (photo left),
enjoyed the epicurean delights in Bologna (photo right), discovered Denmark with good friends at their summer house, felt like movie stars beach-front in Cannes, went back to our beloved Siena and stayed with the Griccioli's again, and after a long absence back to the Guessmann family house in Tuscany in the warm golden light of October. We also continued exploring Germany, and this year we spent time in Hamburg, the northern coast at Heiligendamm, hip Berlin, bavarian Munich, classical Leipzig and historic Quedlinburg. We escaped the gray European winter by heading to the cold bright sunshine and blue skies of Maryland, where we had a family reunion and celebrated my niece Kristy's baby shower. We also spent a good part of the summer in San Francisco, which was rich with special times.
Ava Grace (Whirly Girl, Gracie): Ava went from a toddler to a preschooler in 2007.
Ava went from diapers to potties, from time with Oma Gitti (two mornings a week) to an international preschool, and from a tender little one to an active social butterfly.
Ava went from her baby crib to her "big girl bed" and to a little person who says "Ich kann das alleine machen!" (I can do it alone) to almost everything. Ava is completely bilingual and speaks only German with Daddy, family, neighbors and friends and only English with me, my family and some of her school friends. There is no translation, she just switches back and forth. For her mommy, it does not come as easily.
Likes: Narrating her day through rhymes, looking at books, singing, old-fashioned carousel rides,
swinging, jumping, trampolines, oil bath beads and bath salts, face painting; PEZ dispensers (thanks Aunt Karen), role plays (mommy, princess, doctor, teacher) dress up, nature, collecting leaves and shells, baking and cooking with mommy and daddy.
Playmates (real and otherwise): her seven German cousins (cousin Anna in photo), friends, neighborhood children, Fairy (from Bea), three dolls, Snow White (Ava in photo), Ariel, Princess Lillifee, Sandmanchen (Little Sand Man), Monkey and Bunny.
Favorite Foods: Chocolate, pears, cherries, cranberries, tomatoes, salad, asparagus, bread, oatmeal, yogurt, ovaltine, pancakes, fish, pizza. She especially likes that we have two authentic Italian gelato cafes within a short walking distance. And the favorite of all German children: Haribo Gummy Bears!
Summer Highlights: swimming with Bea, camping in the California Redwoods with friends, visiting Fairytale Land with Eva and Aria, and riding the Berkeley steam train with Kai
Learned: to ride her bike downhill, how to write her first name, how to count to 16, how to cut, concepts of God, concepts of quantity to numbers, time, geography, persuasive negotiation, especially with mommy. It is so sweet to observe her going through the Learning Themes in her preschool: Me, Wonderful Me, Celebrations, and Numbers and Shapes.
Fantasy Life. Her fairy is a petite doll with an active life. Ava describes the private life of "My Fairy" daily, from what she ate last, where in the USA she was born, who her friends are, when she is feeling sick, what she dreamed last night, and so on. Ava had a birthday party for her fairy with candles in Ava's favorite food: pancakes!
Turning Three and Becoming Brave
Ava turned three in May and we had a Little Mommies Party (with two little daddies). The little ones walked proudly around the neighborhood pushing their favorite dolls in strollers. I love the classic wooden strollers that many of the little German girls have. Ava was very excited to be three. Lately, if anyone calls her a three year old, she corrects them to say that she is three and a HALF. After the summer in America, Ava started preschool at an international school. She enjoys going to "kindergarten" as it is called in Germany. She likes the variety of activities and fun, and loves to play with her friends.
In this kindergarden she also goes to Music Class three times a week and PE (sports) twice a week. The school has a well-stocked library that they visit each Thursday. It all feels so grown up for a three year old, but we are happy with how it is working out. Ava experimented with field hockey during the summer and started ballet in December. She likes the ballet class but asked me almost before the end of the first class (mom... when are we going to start ballet? because her idea was that ballet was all spins and pirouttes). The ballet school plays to her imaginative bent - they act out being butterflies, ladybugs, frogs, dolls in a shop window that have come to life. Like many things in Germany, the feel is very sweet, old fashioned and traditional, with the little girls in pale tutus dancing to a live piano in the room. Germany is much more relaxed as far as safety on playgrounds and parks. The playgrounds are usually fairy-tale like with huge wooden ships, dragons, playhouses, climbing nets, climbing beams and so on.
It can be scary for me to see her balance precariously high, but Ava is bold and coordinated because of the German lack of fear, which is evident in playground design. It is wonderful that two of the playgrounds within walking distance are in the forest, and they have cafes that serve capuccinos in real cups. The beer gardens have usually have playgrounds as well. Germans make it very easy to sit outside for hours with friends while the kids are happy nearby.
Firsts in 2007: rode in a Viennese horse-drawn carriage, harvested lavender, ate warm chestnuts from a street vendor, rode her cousin Charlotte's horse, built a fairy house, used hand puppets to tell stories, made s'mores on a camping trip, cleaned and shined her own boots for St. Nikolaus to fill on Dec. 6th, bathed together in the tub and shared a room with a special boy friend, Felix.
The Performer (and "Ham") Ava loves to perform. Our favorite memories from our second year include Ava on stage at a dinner dance while on vacation in the Bavarian Alps with Opa, being a Little Star in her kindergarten Christmas performance;
singing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with Mommy and Grandmommy in our corner bakery, dancing with mommy at a street party in Vienna and at a Flower Power Party in Hannover, and regularly performing Sound of Music dance routines with Daddy in the living room.Andreas (aka Daddy, Pappi
Daddy Profile: enjoys weekly hikes and picnics in nature with Ava and Beau,
owns the nightly bedtime routine: bath time, zahnputzen (teethcleaning), pajamas, buch lesen (reading), prayers (with the three of us); makes weekend trips to cousins in the countryside, teachs Ava all things motorcycle, flips her around, perfects Saturday morning pancakes, constructs architectural Lego creations, acts all parts in Three Little Pigs, Rumpelstiltskin and Snow White, and
Business Man in the Sharp Suit: Andreas continues to enjoy his job at Continental. The company had a big year of expansion and reorganization, which keeps things interesting. His global projects run fine with fairly little travel, taking him to the US and Malaysia only occasionally. He likes the challenging work and the knowledge that he can walk home in 15 minutes.
Harley Rider: the shiny black and chromed Harley Davidson Road King is Andreas' newest passion. After years of dreaming he popped open champagne on the balcony one summer night and told me we were expecting. We celebrated the delivery of his new baby with American-style fanfare at the Hannover Harley dealer. The locals at the shop commented on the fun we had picking up the new bike. Andreas told me that one cannot ride one's Harley just like it comes from the dealer, it must be customized. So, new bells and whistles are what Santa brought him for Christmas. He also had to acquire a proper biker wardrobe. I don't mind the leather chaps.
Laurie: After I got through the daily living challenges (you have to weigh your own vegetables and put on a price sticker BEFORE you get to the checkout) I have come to a relaxed place.
I have embraced the European way of living, I increased my focus on family and art, and we are traveling to new places which keeps me fresh. Moving outside of the US (again!) forced me to reflect deeply on who I am and what matters most. So much is so different here that I could not help but examine questions of value and lifestyle. I have made shifts and I have settled into a new rhythm.
Ava's Mom -guiding and observing her, dancing, creating art, reading, cuddling - these are the special activities in my life right now. I handed over leading the International Women of Hannover's weekly Mom and Toddler Group to friend Joanna and picked up being Class Parent (photo: first day of preschool) for Ava's preschool class. There are 16 children in her class, about half are from Germany and the rest are foreigners or have parents that are half German, half foreign, like us. The international composition of the children is already broadening Ava's understanding of how diverse people can be.
My Year of Art
I have always loved art but this year (that heart scare) I made it a priority. I was spent a lot of time in art exhibitions, museums and galleries at home and while traveling. It was expansive. At a summer party in an old windmill we fell in love with Donato Diez's graceful bronze sculpture of a woman and now she lives with us in the dining room. A huge angel sculpture of Donato's is in the back garden of the neighbor's house so we get "angel protection" when we need it. I acquired some new paintings that really moved me I love the affect in our home nest. The health deal & steady art diet also gave me the push I needed to go from being an "Artist Wannabe" to an "Art Maker": I started working weekly in the atelier of Torsten Paul, enrolled Andreas' Tante Inge, a talented artist, as an art mentor, grew in my photography hobby, and became inspired by friend Amy's portrait painting.
Music and Good times. Germany has a rich musical heritage and wonderful performances are very accessible. My favorites this year included a summer weekly Beethoven series, Cecilia Bartolli in Hamburg, pianist Mitsuko Uschida right across the street at our St. Mark's church, and the San Francisco Symphony with Michael Tilson Thomas here in Hannover. Watching neighbor pianist Markus Becker play Elton John's "Your Song" to his bride at their wedding this summer in the family's centuries-old barn was moving.
I enjoyed the sweetness of weekly Music Together classes in English with Ava Grace in our neighborhood, and now I have lasso'ed our music teacher as a special friend.I still love to have parties and for 2007 a highlight was our Halloween party. I couldn't bear to have Ava miss out on Halloween, which is not celebrated here. So, we threw a party and organized the neighborhood to participate in Trick-or-Treating and the neighbors went all out! We had Jack-o-Lanterns, neighborhood moms helped to decorate and bring food, and Andreas and Ava made a huge life-size ghost like my dad used to make out of a sheet. We played games and the kids went trick-or-treating, almost all of them for the first time. After Spiderman, five witches, a king, a genie, Captain Hook, an astronaut, Harry Potter and our little blue butterfly went to bed, neighbors stayed late around our long table in the last flickering glow of the pumpkins.
What I learned this past year or so: I do I actually love running with music; I prefer an on-foot lifestyle, I like seeing people in the neighborhood often as they are also walking everywhere; I need sunlight to stay happy; German language lessons are much less important than learning "how" things are done in a new culture; less is more; iTunes allows me to be a DJ again; candles at breakfast make my whole day magical; I need to hang in for the long haul when things look hard (I keep learning this it seems!). I learned that it is worth it to invest in long trips to spend time with my close friends in California who know me deeply.
(photo: wine by the fire at our annual girls weekend on the coast at Half Moon Bay) I also continued to learn from long-time friend Chau how to integrate Buddhist teachings into my Christian practices. A summer highlight for me was attending a weekend Zen Buddhist meditation retreat. Dear friend Elizabeth, my God-daughter Beatrix and Ava Grace were all there. The peaceful setting was a villa in Russsian River wine country and Chau was the leader. I will not soon forget how that experience impacted both Ava and myself. Mindful breathing is a good skill for both toddlers and mommies.The Christmas season in Germany is very different than in the US. The entire month of December is celebrated. Advent wreaths that lay flat with four candles are lit on almost every German table, advent calendars with tiny presents to open each day last for 24 days, and the springing up of the wooden stalls of the Christmas Markets in every town all begin on December 1st. December is full of candlelight, the smell of hot spiced wine, gingerbread in the markets, and little lights on strings.
My mom was here for three weeks which was important for us. Ava wrote one word to Santa: YOYO. He apparently got the letter. I asked Ava what her favorite memories were from Christmas and she said singing in the woods with her cousins around the candle-lit tree, and looking in the stockings on Christmas morning (after she drank Santa's leftover milk). We like living in Germany. It was not an easy adjustment for me at first, but fairly easy for Andreas and Ava Grace. I am now on the other side of the curve and find it hard to imagine the lifestyle that I might have in my future in America. What was it that Chau reminded us of during that Buddhist retreat? Oh yes - just breath deeply and live in the moment.
