Car Prayers

We have a prayer ritual that I have grown to love, and my daughter asks for with a not-yet-awake voice. When I drive the 12 minutes from our home to her kindergarden, right after we pass our favorite white marble statue of the two sisters (princesses) with their arms draped around one another, and just before we pass the music university, we start. The prayer begins with giving thanks for the blessing of the beauty of the day in front of us- today it was the intense golden leaves as we drove alongside the forest, sometimes it is the rain, and sometimes it is the sun. We then ask God to wrap his arms around our little one and guide her through each part of her day - from circle time to snack, from learning Jolly Phonics sounds to music, from lunch, recess to art, PE, to library. And we ask that she is strong on her own, that she stands up for herself with other kids, that she takes deep breaths when she needs to feel calm, that her love shines through her to others, and that she goes to the quiet place inside if she feels frustrated or needs peace. I usually thank God for blessing me with the honor of being her mother, the fun and thrill of sharing each day with her. By this time, we are rounding the corner at Waterloo Platz and driving down the tree-lined alley to her school.

She jumps out of the car and pushes her arms through the straps of her pink book-bag with her name and a monkey face on the back. We walk together across the school yard to greet her friends, and we have the gracious feeling of being more closely connected to one another and to God.

Closer than close

Ava rolled over for the tenth time, complaining that she was just not tired. We had read three books and said prayers, and she sang a beautiful song to me about bedtime and sleeping that she must have learned in kindergarden. She really wanted me to lay down with her, and cuddle in the glow of her pink flower nightlight.

I said "Ava, it is really important that each of us know how to relax and fall asleep on our own. There will be many times in life when you cannot sleep, and you will need to know what to do. Close your eyes, and think of special moments in the day today, like when we showered together and blew dry each other's hair, or when we snuggled and watched Mary Poppins this afternoon. We had fun searching for the Halloween box in the cellar and unpacking it. Eating pumpkin soup with daddy, and baking cookies in the kitchen was fun and yummy. Replaying the memories helps them stick better."

Ava said "Mommy, I want you with me." And I said "Honey, you have Monkey, Bunny, Biggie Bear, and Gingie." Take turns cuddling with each one until you fall asleep." Ava replied, "Mommy, I want a human."

I understood. We were so close today, this cold, rainy October day during her fall school break, that it was just too hard to separate at sleep time. We had not left the house once and we both felt the special luxury of our retreating for a day. We lit red candles during our "girls spa time" and had jack-o-lantern candles glowing while eating pumpkin soup at dinner. Today was a day of deep peacefulness, comfort and joy.

Words at Bedtime

me: ava, you really need to go to sleep.
ava: i am not tired. i ate too much sugar (cookie dough from halloween party prep)

me: (eyes closed, hands folded, praying) dear God, please help ava to fall asleep. and please
help me to be a writer.
ava: i can help you write. i know lots of good words.
me: that's right. today you said "accessories."
ava: yes, and I also know: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,
wig, and parfait
ava: you just have to ask me to help you, and I will. I have been
hiding these words.

Lightening Over the Church Tower

I have front row seats to an amazing lightening show tonight. Looking through our huge old windows at the 100-year-old church tower across the street I am in awe of nature's power once again. When the lightening turns the dark night sky to full white in a flash, the dark steeple points upwards, and the child in me believes it is pointing straight to heaven.